Ho Ho Ho from Joe Joe Joe

Funny Christmas Quotes About Santa

1. 'I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.'
   Bernard Manning
2. 'I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.'
   Shirley Temple
3. 'Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?'
   Tom Armstrong
4. 'Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.'
   Victor Borge
5. 'Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?'
   Arlo Guthrie
6. Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? 
   You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
   Anonymous
7. You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.
   Robert Paul